Tabloids: Massive Theft at ScrumBrawl Orb Facility

By Maximus Tuatarasmasher
Posted: May 8, 2014
Published in The Cellessian Times

Massive Theft at ScrumBrawl Orb Facility

Stolen OrbsCELLESSIA – Rumors have been circulating for some time that there had been a break in at the ScrumBrawl Orb manufacturing and storage facility early last year. This story first came to light as at least three different accounts surfaced of alleged thieves appeared in city streets and private homes holding Chaos Orbs.

An independent investigation by an unnamed entity yielded irrefutable evidence that fitness centers in both Cellessia and Brelland have been covertly selling glowing blue vials of ‘Muscle Tonic’ to their patrons. The tonic is manufactured from illegally acquired Shield Orbs that have been processed into powders and potions.

The official press secretary of the Margalae Administration has repeated insisted that no such break-in occurred, however, with the evidence mounting that ScrumBrawl Orbs are ending up on the street, a security guard agreed to an anonymous statement revealing explosive new and potentially devastating information about the state of affairs at the Orb Facility.

“Thousands of orbs were taken from our vaults,” the statement said, “including many varieties that were never approved for final release into the Arena. Four entire crates of Invisible Orbs disappeared and I fear that if these fell into the hands of the Pleasure Root cartel, the orbs could be hollowed out and used for smuggling banned substances into our streets and neighborhoods in broad daylight. I feel morally obligated to warn the mothers of our kids, foals and cubs of the potential dangers of the theft and to expose the Queen’s shameful cover up.”

The crown insists the statement is laced with falsehoods and blames anti-rulership forces for using the rumors as a means to undermine the popularity of the Queen and the realm of Cellessia. Among the types of non-approved orbs mentioned in the full statement were the aforementioned Invisible Orbs, Rubber Orbs (which very nearly made the approved list), Wax Orbs, Emerald Orbs, Helium Orbs, Blinding Magnesium Orbs, and Fried Cheese Orbs. Time will tell if any of these others will ever meet the approval of the ScrumBrawl Gaming Authority… or appear on the black market.

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