Tabloids: Mordrock Stirs Riot, Two Dead

Mordrock Vendor Stirs Riot: Two Dead

IMPERIA, CELLESSIA – Thousands of Cellessian citizens took to the streets in the capital city of Imperia today demanding a recall of intertribal product offerings and advertising recently debuting at the Cellessian Grand Arena. The Queen’s advisors have been under increasing pressure to relax standards on what products would be allowed to be served by vendors at the Arena as well as what guilds and organizations would be allowed to pay for advertising on the thousands of marble columns and plinths throughout the complex.

There are conflicting reports as to whether the Queen herself repealed the unofficial ban on non-Cellessian advertising, but it is certain that she has elected to overlook punishing several Nordooni food vendors who were discovered peddling everything from contraband powdered pixie wings to pickled centaur livers. Last week, an ad for a Vitium-based Basilisk sausage stand was confiscated by Arena officials but the ghosts who allegedly operated the stand vanished before being apprehended.

Basiliskwurst Ad confiscated by Arena Security

All of the intertribal posturing came to a head last night when Tuliathu native Pasthutch Izpliz, a burly mordrock lord, opened a pavilion emblazoned with the offering: Humanburgers! While hundreds of foreigners queued up for the smoking meat patties, many Cellessians were silenced into horror before being whipped into a frenzy by a herd of intoxicated Unicorns. The ensuing riot resulted in the trampling death of a leprechaun couple, the hospitalization of a young mordrock adolescent (a distant cousin to Izpliz), and Izpliz himself is in custody within the Imperia Strongblocks pending an investigation into the source of his supplies.

Tuliathuan’s dragon king Bronzetooth Flamescourge was incensed by the mordrock lord’s incarceration. “It is high time that Cellessia sets aside its hypocritical double standard. They take offense at the sale of Gryphonblood ice cream, which, I might add, is made entirely from donated supplies, and yet they sit on their marble balconies eating roasted Chicken legs right above the Brelland bench!”

Brelland’s archdruidic lead scribe Rytond Avelum responded to our request for comment with this sage nugget. “We have to face facts. Everyone has to eat and unfortunately for some races, they happen to be the natural comestibles for others. Just because you refrain from slapping a sign on the wall reading ‘Troll on a Roll’ doesn’t mean culinary mainstays are ever going to go away.”

The Queen has made no official proclamation as yet regarding either the riot or the future policy regarding intertribal advertising privileges within the Grand Arena. Since tonight’s matches are already sold out, many fear that this will be swept under the rug and become just another bloody thread in the tapestry of ScrumBrawl.
« return to News Listing
Site by Levant Technologies